Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Secrecy—Combating Approval Addiction


Always remember Who you’re serving and why you’re here. He’s the One who matters most.

June’s Awakening, Day 14

“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. Matthew 6:1–4 NIV    



Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 3:23–24 NIV 



            We all desire and need a certain amount of healthy affirmation and encouragement from our family, friends, and peers. Approval and the accolades of men are nice perks to affirm and reassure us that we are doing things well. Yet, taken to an extreme, the constant requirement for positive reinforcement from those we deem most important can be quite detrimental to our well-being. That is what we call “approval addiction,” and our own personal validation of other’s opinions toward us gives their approval or disapproval credibility and we judge ourselves accordingly. Becoming a spiritually mature Christian means refusing to allow other people’s opinions about ourselves to dominate or control our lives.

            Secrecy. The spiritual discipline of secrecy, like simplicity, is first an inward attitude with an outward expression. We should always receive praise or a poor review gracefully, cordially, and humbly, but always realizing that in the final analysis it is not men we are working for nor the praise of men that we are striving for, but the recognition of the Lord with a “well done, good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21, 23). The practice of secrecy is the outward expression of that healthy attitude by serving, giving, or providing assistance to others, as if unto the Lord and the Lord alone, done without divulging your identity or expecting any acknowledgement from men in any way. It is precisely what it says—done in secret. Your Father in heaven sees all and knows all and most assuredly will reward you for your good deeds, even in the supplying of a cup of water to those who are least (Matthew 10:42). There is no need to toot your horn—let the Lord sound His own trumpet for you. This obviously requires a great deal of healthy confidence, assurance, self-esteem, and spiritual maturity—it is one of the most difficult of the spiritual disciplines to master and requires a well-ordered heart.

            Here are three danger signs that a healthy reception of praise or criticism from men has turned into borderline approval addiction. Comparison—constantly gauging and measuring your accomplishments against those of others, even though you truly never know all the circumstances. Since we never know all the details surrounding the apparent accomplishments of others, it is equally impossible to make any valid comparison and it becomes an exercise in futility. You are a unique you, God has a special plan precisely for you, and everything changes with time. Deception—when our concern for what others think becomes overriding, we will shade the truth and make excuses for ourselves when we don’t meet their expectations. Just be honest—if you believe the criticism to be correct, own it and let it propel yourself to be better. If you believe the criticism to be in error, acknowledge their observation, hold your tongue, and reject it in your heart unless the Holy Spirit tells you otherwise. Resentment—when we crave approval in excess, we inevitably come to resent those whose approval we seek. We transfer our own frustration onto others and make it their problem and fault. This is a difficult pit to get out of and is self-destructive. Always acknowledge, pray about what’s been said or not said, and look to the Lord your Master for His answers.

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